Intent

i met him by the river near the railway line.
My breath hitched as i approached him
             Overwhelmed by his sunshine smile,
                                                                         blinding in the ebony glaze of the night
                          Silent breath buzzing caught outside the body
                                       penitential
                                                    everything rang loudly through my bones
Tiny branches crunched under my heavy boots. cracks i wouldn’t even think of mending.
                                                                                                                      His soles gently
                                                                                     calmed their shrieks as i curved us
                                                                                                                      into a new path.
             Lurching branches scratched my burning face, caressing his cheeks in ease
                                       My feet halted with the blood fleeing my body, pale as a soul.
                                                      Itching at my anxiety, itching at my selfish resolve
                                       We were so close
                         Too close, a phantom of my own hands wrapped around my breath
                                                                   suffocating me slow and deserving
His hand itched for mine, and I accepted it unwillingly but easily in some ghostly daze
             Our palms still separated by a pool of sweat,
                                                       his water mixed with my noxious dirt.
But He was content,
                                       So i supposed I should be
His smile became fuzzy.
    My fault lurched at him without my consent
          and I tried to push him from the blow
                Words empty and caught
                       Then rambled and vomited with every intention to run the throat dry
And i left him there, confused and unsatisfied
                All i could offer him in the wake of my cowardess
Sleeping smile slapped away by my intent.

– –Jennifer Aria <*3

Originally Posted December 24, 2016

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